* People who don’t use turn signals – This used to be mostly a Southern phenomenon, but I see cars with plates from up North do it as well. Look, it’s communication with the cars behind you. Turning the signal on as you are making the turn, or God forbid, after you made the turn does no one any good. Turn signals: use them early and often.
* People who brake through a right turn – Is there some sort of state law I don’t know about that mandates you come to a complete stop before making a right turn? We’ve been through this before, folks. You brake before the turn. Once you’ve slowed the vehicle down to a controllable speed, enter the turn and release the brake. You take advantage of centripetal force, pushing the car around the corner. Thus, you save gas, as well as the poor bastard who was speeding behind you. If you didn’t understand any of that, please turn in your license and report to the remedial driving course “Me Drive Gooder One Day”.
* Lazy dog owners in apartment complexes – Where I live, we have a leash law and a curb law. In other words, keep your hyperactive fuzz rockets on a leash, and pick up their poop. You probably aren’t surprised at how many fetuses, on their own for the first time, can’t seem to grasp these facts. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been menaced by a four-legged tough guy who has claimed the entire building as his territory. Also, there’s a large courtyard in front of my apartment. And you guessed it, it’s covered in poop. The front office makes withering threats about fines and evictions for persistent violators, but it seems they like the monthly rent of these bad pet owners more than the health and safety of its tenants without pets. Also, what’s up with these little girls with dogs as big as horses? Safety? You live in a one-bedroom apartment in the middle of a sea of them. Unless you saddle them up and ride them, the safety factor is pretty much lost.
* Left lane FAST; Right lane SLOW – What’s the point of four-lane roads if Ma & Pa Kettle are going to hang out in the passing lane doing 25? Yes, I appreciate you risking your life during the Spanish-American War, Pops. But get that land barge over into the right lane and let us Johnny Rockets whiz past! Some of us would like to get where we’re going before mandatory retirement kicks in.
* Stupid Grocery Store Tricks – A grocery chain in my area is advertising $5 off when you buy 10 items seemingly chosen at random. Sounds good, right? Well what if those specific items are ones you rarely buy? I wound up buying 8 energy drinks for a buck just to get the two products I was really interested in. While I saved money on the items I wanted, and actually came out ahead, I’m stuck with 8 energy drinks that I’ll choke down over the course of a month. Extreme couponing my ass. At least with coupons you maintain a small measure of dignity. I didn’t used to have to race around with a cart full of dodgy items just to get a deal on paper towels or razor blades.
Hate expelled. Back to regular programming…
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